Finding the peace that passes understanding
That’s a phrase I heard my minister say every week, “the peace that passes understanding,” but I learned what it meant when I lost my mother and father. And late last year, my sister passed away after a lengthy battle with kidney and heart disease in December. These were journeys filled with pain, helplessness, and, eventually, peace.
That week, I was by her bedside when Karen took her last breath—a moment that brought a sense of comfort amid the sorrow.
In her final moments, something extraordinary happened. Her face, once marked by the strain of illness, softened. She looked years younger, her features illuminated by a peaceful glow that seemed to radiate from within. It was as though the weight of her suffering had lifted, and she was finally free.
I knew, in that sacred moment, that she was no longer in pain and had found her eternal rest in the presence of God.
This experience has stayed with me, and while the grief of losing her remains, it is tempered by the peace of knowing she is in a better place. Here are some reflections and steps that have helped me on the journey to finding peace after her passing:
1. Acknowledge the pain
Grief is not something you can bypass. It demands to be felt. That day, and in the days after her passing, I allowed myself to cry, to feel the weight of her absence. It was in these moments I began to understand the irreplaceable role she played in my life.
2. Seek meaning in the moment
Being there at her peaceful passing was a gift. It reminded me of the promises of our faith—that death is not the end but a transition to a life free from pain and suffering. Her glow and serenity in those final moments were tangible signs of God’s presence, reassuring me that she was being welcomed home.
3. Honor their legacy
My sister had a big heart and a love for life, even when her body was failing her. I’ve found healing in honoring her memory by sharing stories about her. I have organized a fundraiser to share her life and stories, and to defray the costs of the funeral, memorial and travel.
4. Lean Into faith
Faith has been my anchor. The knowledge that she is in God’s care, free from pain, has brought immense comfort. Meditating on scriptures like Psalm 34:18 has reminded me that even in my grief, God is near.
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
5. Find solace in community
Talking with family, friends, and even grief support groups has been invaluable. Sharing my experience has lightened the load, and hearing others’ stories of loss has reminded me that I’m not alone. It’s in these connections that I’ve found strength and support.
6. Give yourself grace
Grief is not linear. Some days, I feel okay; other days, the pain of her absence feels fresh and raw. I’ve learned to give myself grace on the hard days, allowing space for my emotions while trusting that peace will return.
While I miss my sister deeply, the peace I saw in her face as she left this world continues to comfort me. I know she is with God, her spirit free and whole. Her journey reminds me that life is fragile, but love is eternal. And even in the shadow of loss, there can be light and hope.
If you’re walking a similar path of grief, know that peace will come in time. Lean on your faith, cherish the memories, and hold on to the promise that our loved ones are never truly gone—they live on in our hearts and in the presence of God.
Written by: Yvette Walker, Author and September 2025 “Women at the Well” Our Stories, Our Songs Event Speaker
